The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
