I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
