I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
