So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
