I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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