a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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