yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
