i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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