I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
