I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
