im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
