Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
