I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
