i barfeds in our rink
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I am midnight drunk by noon
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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