There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
