Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
