She announced her abortion via fbk
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
