bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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