I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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