on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
