apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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