I'm gonna have a badass scar
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You know, be my cock's hype man.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
