Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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