Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
it was like eating out sand paper
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
