I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
