forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
