new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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