Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
