Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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