Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
