I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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