It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
