you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
