apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
