He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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