I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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