Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
