she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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