dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
