every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
