I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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