I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
