Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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