did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Mom said you looked used
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
