so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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