The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
