Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
