He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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