there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
