TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
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