my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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