If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
