I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Randomize
